Thursday, May 16, 2013

faith of a mustard seed

Hi.  It's been a while.

I have been searching for inspiration in clothes, magazines, etc.  When all along the inspiration has been right here in front of me....

When I got pregnant 9 years ago, no book or conversation with another mother could have prepared me for the life altering event that would happen 9 months later.

Motherhood....the hardest, longest and most rewarding job I will ever have.

No one prepares you for the overwhelming love that fills your heart, the first moment you lay eyes on such a small being.  I cry just reminiscing.

My first experience at motherhood was Zoe- a healthy, precious little baby.  Zoe was a typical little girl growing up- outgoing and lively.  She always had the most compassionate heart, loves animals and "Craft Queen" is her name.  She hit milestones like every other child her age.  Life was perfect.




When Zoe entered school, we notice a slow change in her.  My perky and energetic little girl was slowing turning into an introvert.  We didn't know why, we blamed her age and birthdate (born in June makes her young for her class).




We managed life until 3rd grade when emotions took a downward spiral.  After a lot of testing and doctor's visits she was diagnosed with a hearing problem called APD (Auditory Processing Disorder).  APD can't be corrected by surgery or medication but over time therapy will help her cope.
{Experience what Zoe would during a normal school day. Click here.} Just click BEGIN.
My world was a wreck.  For a while, I was upset.

I cried.

However, life doesn't stop.  I had to be strong.  For her.  For us.  Joseph and I made some pretty big decisions and made a lot of changes.  We have seen such tremendous positive change in her.  My little cocoon is finally blooming.  She is coming out of this shell with the help of some pretty amazing therapist, friends and family.

Since this discovery, we have learned Zoe can read lips (we had no idea).  She is ambidextrous which explains why she is so great with her hands.

I have become thankful for her diagnosis.  God has his hands in this, to protect her from something, to allow her room for greatness.  I have no doubt God has wonderful plans for Zoe and by faith, I believe this whole heartedly.



Words cannot express how much I love this child.  She inspires me to be a better person.  To love like I have never been hurt.  To break free of my own shell.

I love her spirit.
I love her heart.
I love her courage.
I love her every being.




This picture was taken after Zoe's last softball game where they were beaten. To put it correctly, slaughtered by a team in which 9 of her friends from her travel ball team are on.  Rather than complain of the defeat, this is what I find.  "After a great game! Good job to [two] Guys Grill."

As I look at this Instagram picture, that a selfless 8 year old posted congratulating her friends for their victory, I had a "Ahh haa" moment as a mother that "she's going to be just fine".
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28
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