Monday, September 17, 2012

SAHM vs Working Woman {parenting}

Good Ol' Days....
Oh how, I remember the days when I could use the bathroom in peace and read an entire book from start to finish. Now my days are consumed with fighting children and wiping noses, all while I am conquering a mountain of laundry.  Get the picture?

Magic 8 Ball....
Before I had children I never envisioned myself as a stay at home Mom.  I was much too independent and on the go. Life doesn't come with a magic 8 ball, so I didn't predict how Kid #2 would change my life.  Working full time with Kid #1 never phased me, however when Kid #2 entered the world, he developed many health obstacles that changed our households dynamics.  The end result, I quit my job.  Leaving my (sanity and) peaceful office behind.

4 1/2 years later....
I am now blessed with 2 healthy children.  At the ages of 6 and 8, they are consumed with school until 2:30 pm everyday.  After a hell-ashious summer, I thought "what a better time for me to go back to work".  The kids are self sufficient and I can now close the 5 year gap that will exist on my resume.

What I was thinking....
I know this is a constant struggle for all stay at home moms.  To be something more than just Kid #1 and Kid #2's Mom or His wife.  To have have my own identity outside of the home.  Stay at home mom's sacrifice their life for their children and family.  Is it worth it in the end?  Is it selfish to think like this?  I believe these are all "normal" questions to ask.  Everyone has doubts however, the tricky part is 1) making the choice and 2) accepting the consequence that it comes with and 3) not looking back.

A working experience....
I tried going back to work full-time and after 3 weeks, work wasn't cutting it.  The satisfaction was not rewarding enough for me.  I came home everyday to crying children with runny noses, the same amount of laundry and enough elementary homework to give me a headache, all just in time to figure out what to cook for dinner.  Of course, I was thinking then...."what happen to the time when I had all day to plan dinner, do laundry and get a blog in, if I wanted too.  Oh, the joys of being a stay-at-home Mom.  I missed being able to volunteer at school, go to the gym and most of all listen to "what happened at school today?" the minute my kids get in my car.

My glass is half full....
I believe for all household's the make-up of what we call family is different.   We must choose to be optimistic about our choices.  If you are fortunate enough to stay at home with your children, it comes with the sacrifices, whether they be financial or ego driven.  Working mom's face the same sacrifices just from a different point of view (and much more serious in my opinion).  Most working Moms have to work to support their families.  Therefore, they have no option but to sacrifice valuable time away from their children.  My heart goes out to working Moms and especially single, working Moms.  I do NOT know how you do it.  Kudos to you.

Tell this to my husband....

World's Worst Mom?
Don't be silly...  When you're stressed and doubt starts to creep in.   Grab some wine, relax and enjoy Tammy aka "worst mommy extraordinaire" at  Tammy and her followers share their "World's Worst Mom" experiences that will make you LOL.  Then you will realize every thought and experience, we encounter as a mother is perfectly normal.  If you don't feel the rain, you'll never experience a rainbow.  It's the trials of parenting that better equip us for the harder days to come therefore making us better parents.  {Or we are so desensitized by the end, it doesn't faze us.}

Fashion forward Moms....
Who says, SAHM and style can't be in the same sentence?  Take it from one fashion forward Mom to another when I say, "I love dressing up".  It makes me feel more satisfactory to get up each day and make myself presentable.  I do it and I see it time and time again at school.  There are three fashion categories, Moms fall into daily.

  1. Hide and Seek Mom - these are the Moms that "hide" at school and avoid any and all conversation.  Usually, they are found in pjs or t-shirt that represents some type of function their children participated in.  
  2. Yeah, I Work Out Mom - you will never find them in anything less than gym apparel even if they don't work out.  Hey, the first step is putting on the gear!
  3.  Madam Barbie Mom - no matter what she is wearing she did it with style.  It may not suit your taste but she made it work down to every last accessory.
I am a combination.  My dominate trait is "Madam Barbie" even if I am sporting the "Yeah, I Work Out" assemble.  However, on the "Hide and Seek" days I am usually in the pick up line, safe from everyone's viewing.  I am a firm believer in looking presentable.  It helps my self esteem and (yes, you can laugh out loud) but I do it for my husband.  Who wants to come home to Plain Jane everyday with no makeup.  Spice it up ladies.  God gave it to you, so use it to your advantage.  
With all that being said, I also love being comfortable.  It doesn't take reading a Vogue magazine to incorporate easy wardrobe pieces to complete a look.  Here are a few of my favorite for easy, Fall style.

1.  Chunky Sweaters - they can cover up any "fat day" or ugly shirt plus it's cozy and warm.
2.  Flats - perfect for denim or capris.  Dressier than tennis shoes and flip flops.
3.  Earrings - a simple stud or hoop works great!  Get into the habit of putting them on when you wake up.
4.  Headbands - a great accessory whether your hair is up or down.  A simple piece that add just a touch of style to "walk out the door" hair.
5.  Bag - the right handbag can make any outfit pop.  Make the investment and choose wisely.

In the end....
I have chosen to be a Work At Home Mom {aka WAHM}.  I am very blessed to be able to work from my house and still enjoy the flexibility of being at home with my kids.  It still has it challenges and I still have doubts but I know this is where I am suppose to be and I am pleased with my decision. The question still remains "what do you want to be when you grow up"?  I have no clue but for now my magic 8 ball says "it is certain" to Zoe and Jax's Mom and Joseph's wife.  Alena Smith will just have to wait her turn.

1 comment:

  1. Great post Alena! So honest and hit the spot today! Thanks for sharing! xx